Hello friends, after two weighty blog articles in a row, I thought I might lighten the mood by writing about stereotypical students and their approach to school work.
I’m just having fun with this, so please don’t take this article too seriously. You may even think of some additional types of students on your own.
Which type are you? Or are you a composite of these students?
The Overachiever
Is highly motivated and diligent.
Happy to sweat and sacrifice to reap tangible rewards—academic trophies, medals and scholarships adorn walls and shelves.
Devotes hundreds of hours in researching, writing, studying, polishing and perfecting assignments and projects.
Loves to go above and beyond.
May blow off sleep or parties to achieve spectacular results.
Who needs drugs? This student gets a high from achieving high marks.
A Bibliophile, but also enjoys Khan Academy and YouTube videos on class subjects.
Probably of Asian descent, dominated by a “Tiger” mum.
The Big Brain
When God was doling out brains, this person received a double portion.
Blessed with extraordinary intellectual talent.
Doesn’t have to put in much effort to achieve excellent results.
Maybe lazy or complacent because things come too easily.
Possibly impatient with average students, as the gifted brain operates at lightning speed.
Secretly despised by others (especially the hard workers) because work ethic seems non-existent, yet this student is still ranked at the top of the class.
Considered a genius.
The Charmer
A magnetic personality makes this student very popular.
Naturally charming, this student may take advantage of this power to persuade other kids to do their work for them.
His popularity makes it difficult for others to refuse a request.
He spends energy in building relationships that work for his own advantage.
Good at working people but not word processors.
The FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)
This student juggles many activities outside of school.
She has a part time job at Macca’s.
She also plays Netball and loves to Surf.
She takes lessons in Violin and tortures of her family by practicing late at night—the only time she has left in her busy day.
She sings in the church choir and volunteers in the crèche.
School work is just another activity on her schedule.
She’s diligent because she thrives on activity.
Quality of work submitted may suffer because there are too many irons in the fire, unless she’s academically gifted.
The Jock or The Artist or The Musician
This person will work on honing their skills in their talent or field of interest.
This disproportionate attention spent on sports, creative endeavours in visual art, music, dance, theatre, pottery, basket weaving, etc. may mean that school work is put on the back burner.
This is the person that is always carrying a ball, a sketchbook, a guitar etc. around the school playground.
Obsession with their talent may mean that they’ll find a way to sneak random factoids about it in casual conversation or finagle it into essays, speeches and class assignments.
This singular focus will be met by opposition from their parents who will scream, “Hey, kid, get some balance in your life.”
The Dreamy Romantic
Finds it hard to concentrate or produce any tangible results after sitting at her desk as she’s too busy daydreaming about her current sweetheart.
Headspace is occupied by the last thing her boyfriend did or said to her.
She’s busy figuring out what she’ll wear for her next date with him, whilst also planning out the perfect neckline for her wedding dress.
Infatuation with relationships distracts her from studying to her full capabilities.
The Sloth
Sluggish and inert, this person will not even bother to lift a pen to write down important notes.
If this student hands in anything it’s usually only fit for the cylindrical filing cabinet—the rubbish bin.
Perennially allergic to work.
Well on the way to becoming a future dole bludger and a drain on society.
Classmates groan when they get they’re lumped with this student for group work assignments because they know they’re carrying a dead weight.
The Leech
Motto: Why work when you can mooch of someone else?
This is the student that will copy someone else’s homework in the class before it’s due to be handed in.
A shameless cousin to the sloth, may even copy brilliant sections of an assignment and pass it off as their own.
May grow up to be that person that feigns an injury in the workplace to receive worker’s compensation benefits.
The Chronic Whinger
The whinger complains about word length, due dates, lack of resource material, the lack of relevance the assignment his to her future, etcetera.
He complains in the hopes that the teacher will reduce the workload or extend the due date.
The whinger is usually someone who has an aversion to doing work.
When grades are returned he will complain about his marks and try to scab additional ones by pleading with the teacher raise his final score.
The Procrastinator
Dreads or fears the enormity of the assignment.
Has intentions to work on the project.
He will even have the laptop on and books spread out, but ends up watching pandas slipping down a slide on YouTube instead.
Time allotted for study is wasted on watching irrelevant videos, texting friends or curating perfect Instagram posts.
An impeding deadline causes the procrastinator to freak out and finally produce work, but this usually means pulling an all-nighter.
Due to the rush, assignments and projects submitted are substandard.
Occasionally a gifted procrastinator arises.
He will generate ideas and think about assignments during mundane moments, construct arguments, essay structures, or solve problems logically in his head.
Thus, giving the appearance of not working at all.
However, all the heavy mental lifting is done prior to fingers getting started on the keyboard.
The Bragger
This student has an over inflated view of her own abilities.
She submits work believing that it’s brilliant, but fails to look at the marking criteria on the rubric.
Overconfidence makes her complacent.
A lower than expected mark will be the much needed reality check for this deluded individual.
The Airhead
As she’s born with mental deficiencies, academic work may be more difficult for her. She’ll apply herself, but she might not achieve spectacular results.
She’s the type that on the due date will exclaim, “What? What assignment? When did we get that?”
Parents recognise obvious learning challenges and will provide additional tutoring to improve her school report card.
Join me for more on this topic in Part 2
Hi Mrs Nightingale!
Was this based on all the girls you teach? It feels like you are targeting us ????
Anyways, I think this is really funny! I love it!
-Rebekah Eim
Oh Rebekah,
I had too much fun writing this piece. I only had to reflect on my current batch of students. 🙂
Hey Miss,
This is one of my favourites blog you have posted!! Its quite funny!!
I love it.
By the way was this meant to be us??
Yours in Christ,
Alyssia ❤️
Hello Alyssia,
If you’d like to think of these students as representatives of our class, go right ahead. 🙂