Bullies

I was a blubbering mess. I had just watched a gut wrenching video of a nine year old boy saying, “I wish I could stab myself in the heart. I want someone to kill me.”

Why would anyone at such a tender age have suicidal thoughts?

The child was the victim of relentless bullying at school.

Nobody likes being picked on. And when you’re in primary school, anything considered different or strange about the way you look or speak can be used against you in the playground. And to borrow something from Miss Swift, “Haters gonna hate.”

A dust up. Stray elbows flying. A black eye. A missing tooth. Bloodied noses.

Bodies slowly mend.

Not much changes between primary school and high school, only the teasing and the verbal assaults are more sophisticated. The taunts can be veiled in humor, ‘’I was just joking.” Or gift wrapped with sarcasm. Even more problematic is when the bullying explodes to a wider audience on social media for the whole world to see.

Physical wounds heal and damaged feelings heal, but sometimes they don’t.

The Bible is true. Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.    

Proverbs 18:21

We hear of more deaths, of more teens who have taken their own lives because of cyber bullying.

Surely, we’ve learned our lesson by now.

When I was a child, I wanted to be a superhero like Wonder Woman and my brother imagined himself to be Superman. I’d deflect bullets with my awesome wrist bands and force bad guy—usually the kid that couldn’t run as fast as the rest—to tell the truth using my special lasso, while flying my invisible jet.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about my childhood longings for superpowers, without realizing that I had one all along. Everyone has this superpower.

This superpower is wrapped up in a tiny organ—the tongue.

Our words have weight and fists and power.

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God is clear on how His children are to use this superpower. Instead tearing other people down we are to build them up. Instead of bad language we are to use wholesome life giving and life changing words—words filled with grace and kindness.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.   Ephesians 4:29

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.  Proverbs 31:26

In my twenties, while reading Robbie Castleman’s book True Love, I stumbled across a piece of advice that has served me well ever since. It has swerved me away from many a disaster. It went like this: before opening your mouth to speak, stop and think . . .

Is what I’m about to say

1. Loving?
2. True?
3. Necessary?

I think these filters have made less talkative.  Something my husband appreciates, I’m sure. This advice can even be applied to our finger tips with all our social media.

One final note and prayer. Let us be like the psalmist who cried:

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.

Psalm 19:14

Questions for discussion

1. Has there ever been a time in your life when you’ve caused pain and suffering because of the words you’ve said or typed? What were the consequences?
2. On the flip side, have you ever been wounded by someone else’s words? How did it make you feel? Did it have long lasting effects on your life?
3. How may we glorify and honour our God in our day to day speech?

Reference: Robbie Castleman, True Love in a world of false hope, InterVarsity Press 1996.