Marrying the Enemy

He strolls with a cane and a stoop. His hair is cobweb thin. Beside him, his wife shuffles along in cushioned orthopedic shoes. She’s ballooned to twice the size she was when he first met her in senior high.

He pays no mind, because in his eyes, it just means there’s more of her to love.

The impulse to squeeze her soft fingers takes over. He presses with a light pulse and winks at her.

“Your hand is too sweaty,” she says drawing her hand back.

He doesn’t let go.

She splits a grin, flashing engineered teeth. Her smile cuts ever-deepening laugh lines.

With a couple this cute, it makes me want to shrink them both down and carry them around in my pocket all day long.

Bad marriages

However, what marriage counselors, couples therapists, and divorce lawyers thrive on are marriages that sour.

Hairline fractures appear in the form of dramatic eye rolls or snippy comments aimed at emotional sore spots. Over time, it escalates into volcanic fights and shocking abuse.

The cracks grow bigger with every fist flung, and every angry word hurled. Until what remains is, only bitter contempt for each other.

The door slams.

Love has packed up and deserted them.

Great expectations

Nobody enters into marriage with the expectation that it will fail.

Especially for the hopeless romantics who cling to the ‘marriage is a bed of roses’ ideal.

And it’s the romantic that will sweep his arms up with flowers from an obliging garden or a local florist to please his sweetheart.

It’s a wonderful feeling to be remembered and cherished in that way.

If I receive long stemmed roses, I’ll thoughtfully arrange them in a crystal vase and place them out on display in a prominent place.

Why not rub it in to my not-so-loved-up friends?

But never have I ever taken the stems and thrust their thorns into my eyes.

I’m not an idiot.

(Now for all you lovers of Greek mythology, this may feel like a nod—or gouge—to Oedipus Rex.)

Think of the bloodshed, the damage, and the searing pain. Worst-case scenario: I’d develop an eye infection that leads to irreversible blindness.

God explains that this is exactly what we do to ourselves when we enter into a bad marriage.

And to God, a bad marriage is one where you’ve married the enemy.

Please read Joshua chapter 23.

God fought for the Israelites and the land of Canaan was conquered. However, there were small remnants of Canaanites that stayed.

A long time had passed since all the warring and Joshua, their astute and highly capable military commander, was now well advanced in years.

From the start of his career to his dying days, Joshua always maintained that all the glory and praise belonged to the Lord. God and all of His statutes were to be obeyed. The Lord was faithful to His covenant. He kept all His promises.

God had driven out the great and powerful nations in Canaan, and Israel experienced rest from all their enemies around them.

Eyewitnesses to God’s Power

Joshua reminds the people that they had seen with their own eyes and experienced the mighty hand of the Lord upon them through their numerous victories.

And ye have seen all that the LORD your God hath done unto all these nations because of you; for the LORD your God is he that hath fought for you.    Joshua 23:3

Obedience out of love for God

God upheld his part of the agreement. The children of Israel were commanded to follow the law of Moses to hold up their end of the covenant.

They were to cling to Him and love Him.

The problem was God knew that His chosen people were attracted to the pleasure-seeking ways of the Canaanites and their false gods.

Allegiance to God alone

That ye come not among these nations, these that remain among you; neither make mention of the name of their gods, nor cause to swear by them, neither serve them, nor bow yourselves unto them  Joshua 23:7

Remember, the Israelites had lived in Egypt for centuries and exposed to the mammoth and visible idols of their Egyptian masters.

Idols were attractive because they were physical objects that could be touched and seen. The Lord God however, was the unseen God.

Idols could be confined and carried around. The Lord God was an awesome God who could not be manipulated like some mere plaything.

Canaanite gods were thought to have power over their harvests. And just like their enemies, the Israelites were concerned about producing healthy and abundant crops.

Other false deities were known as fertility gods, which enabled worshippers to increase their family size with more children. The worship involved sacred prostitution and a whole host of sexually immoral practices.

In Canaan, idol worship was rife. It was the established cultural norm. It was easier to indulge in pleasurable activities that appealed to the flesh than to go against them.

The consequences of marrying the enemy

Next to a relationship with God, the relationship of husband and wife is the closest. Spouses exert a tremendous amount of influence over each other.

Intermarrying with the Canaanites would spell disaster.

Know for a certainty that the LORD your God will no more drive out any of these nations from before you; but they shall be snares and traps unto you, and scourges in your sides, and thorns in your eyes, until ye perish from off this good land which the LORD your God hath given you.   Joshua 23:13

They would be spiritual entangled in the web of false idol worship, and ensnared by sinful practices. They would feel the sting of whips on their sides and lose their ability to see clearly.

They would lose themselves in loving false gods, and be unable to discern the difference between what was good and evil, and right from wrong.

God desired to protect his children from all of this pain and corruption. In His love, he forewarned them of what would happen.

In marrying the enemy, God would become their enemy.

When ye have transgressed the covenant of the LORD your God, which he commanded you, and have gone and served other gods, and bowed yourselves to them; then shall the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and ye shall perish quickly off the good land which he hath given you.        Joshua 23:16

You might not be married to a ‘Canaanite’, but what are the things you are wedded to that displease God?

Whom do you really love?

Take good heed therefore unto yourselves, that ye love the LORD your God.  Joshua 23:11

Bibliography

Henry, M. 1961, Commentary on the Whole Bible, Zondervan, Michigan.

Pawson, D. 2015, Unlocking the Bible, William Collins, UK.

Pfeiffer C,F. 1990, The Wycliffe Bible Commentary, Moody Publishers, Illinois.

The Quest Study Bible, 1994, Zondervan Publishing House, Michigan.

Walton, J. 2000, The IVP Bible Background Commentary Old Testament, IVP Academic, Illinois.